


Can we talk?

by Zeibix (orphan_account)



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Under the Red Hood
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Hurt, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Past Relationship(s), dickjay, dubcon, jaydick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:34:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22146508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Zeibix
Summary: Dick not only finds himself very surprised when realizing he's open to experimenting with the same sex. No, he's intrigued. So intrigued he might have pushed Jason to get with him although knowing Jason wasn't ready to take it further.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd
Comments: 12
Kudos: 82





	Can we talk?

**Author's Note:**

> I've actually ended up updating the fic slightly, because I wasn't entirely happy with how it came out the first time because homegirl didn't know you could save as a draft, lol. So less rushing, more effort. I'm still quite rusty cuz I barely write, but I hope ya'll like the updated one better. (Updated the 07/01/2020)

"Come on, handsome. I'll just blow you and I'm sure you'll get in the mood? Besides, I'd love to see what you're packing." The blonde female spoke, grinning slightly at the taller, dark-haired man's face as she ran the very tips of her fingers down the other man's torso. Although sensing he wanted to speak, she managed to cut him off by leaning in to nip slightly on the older's earlobe, forcing his nostrils to fill up with her perfume. Scent of choice was lavender. Swallowing harshly, the male put a gentle palm to the woman's collar bone in an attempt of earning just enough distance for the two of them to look at one another.  
  
"Listen, I really enjoyed the night we spent together, but I've got work in the morning and I'd honestly just prefer if we ended the evening here." He spoke calmly, serving her a soft yet almost apologetic smile. Rejecting women wasn't exactly Dick Grayson's strongest skill.  
  
"I'm gonna be very plain-spoken about this, Grayson. I didn't offer to follow you to the door and not get anything out of it. We both enjoyed the date, you said so yourself. I didn't take you for a slow-paced kind of guy, but I can work with that." The female continued whilst oozing with nothing but confidence. "So what's it gonna be, Dickie? Are you gonna let me inside, or would you rather your neighbors watch us?" She hissed in an almost seductive manner as her slender fingers found their way to the man's belt, already working on undoing it.   
  
"Didn't you hear the guy? He told you he ain't interested, _woman._ " A rather hoarse voice resounded within the hallway of the apartment complex which Grayson lived in. The sudden interruption was enough to have the woman withdraw her hands although refusing to move away from her claimed prize. As the former yet broader Robin made his way up the stairs, he stopped at close distance to the two lovebirds at the door, which led into Dick's apartment. Well, lovebirds seemed to be an overstatement, considering he'd even heard Dick subtly try to hint he wasn't interested in taking it any further than a few innocent kisses. Yeah, even Jason had to arch a brow hearing that come from Gotham's most most eligible bachelor next to Bruce Wayne. Yet it was a somewhat reassuring, knowing Dick was more than just a pretty face with a high sex-drive, ready to throw himself at anything appealing with a pulse. Of course Dick could've pushed harder to make it clear he wasn't interested, but it's not like Jason didn't know how Dick was with women. Gentle, not wanting to hurt their feelings. He treated them as if they were absolutely fragile, which explained why he was so easy to harass. And although the younger would've liked to see Dick fend for himself, he wasn't interested in watching her feeling Grayson up and down. Honestly, he wasn't interested in seeing _anyone_ doing so in the first place. And that being despite the hurt which had been so all-consuming in the very moment.   
  
Dick, who found himself pressed against the wooden door raised his head just slightly to gaze at his former flame in what seemed to be utter surprise. It'd been at least 3 months since they'd last spoken. Or, that being the last time Jason spoke to _him,_ as Dick had been the typical, eager soul to blow up the other guy's phone till he eventually realized he'd absolutely screwed up; And for that, there had to be a price. Silence which had led to an tremendous amount of guilt and hurt. Well deserved, one could say. His ocean blues lingered on Jason for a while, completely forgetting about the smaller, female figure who'd pinned him against the door. The acrobat simply stood there, taking in Jason's full figure. The dress code seemed casual, he really hadn't bothered dressing up, even though you'd wonder why he'd come in the first place. Red hoodie, black leather jacket thrown on top, black jeans and a pair of worn-down combat boots who had clearly done their duty. He looked like, _himself._ And for the moment being, it almost brought Dick a sense of very undeserving comfort. He seemed, _okay._  
  
It didn't take long till the female turned to look at the new face, eyeing him up and down. It was with a clearly unsatisfied tone she spoke; "And who do you think you are?" The red, low-cut dress was sleeveless, exposing her slender arms which she crossed over her large chest, tilting her head slightly whilst almost attempting to tower above the tallest of the men.   
  
"He forgot to tell you?" Jason responded with a slight scoff and an unsatisfied expression which was just enough to shatter that tough-looking facade the woman was keeping, replacing the facial expression with a rather confused one. It was more than obvious she wanted to ask, but before she got to, Jason had already shoved away the blonde to step closer to the smaller male. Meanwhile, Dick tilted his head slightly to gaze up at the man who had just a few centimeters on him, completely unknowing of what was to come. And within a split second, he felt a warm hand cup his jaw, causing Dick's body to stiffen in surprise, yet feeling the heat rush to his face by the familiar touch.   
  
"I'm the boyfriend, obviously." Jason had responded, leaning in to close the space between the two of them, sealing that statement with an honest, passionate yet pure kiss before pulling away, moving his hand to stroke back Dick's untamed bangs before looking to the female who seemed completely taken aback by the mere sight. And it was with the same unsatisfied expression Jason nodded towards the stairs, clearly hinting at her to leave before he'd personally send her ass down the stairs. And off she was. Without a word. The sound of heels clacking against the steps in a fast pace made it obvious she couldn't get out of there fast enough. The man in the hoodie then gazed down at Dick with a slight hint of concern showing as he asked;  
  
"You okay there?" Usually it'd be under entirely different circumstances he'd look Dick up and down before asking such question. But whether in the battlefield or not, Jason had first hand experience with having someone come onto him despite making it obvious he wasn't interested. And despite everything that had happened between the two of them, it wasn't anything he'd watch Dick go through either. At least not if he could step in, when Dick failed to stand up for himself. It was so _him._ Jason then received a slight nod as well as some stuttering words such as 'yes' and 'thanks', but that was about all. But he knew that wasn't the exact thing that really bothered the eldest right now.  
  
"What ... was that?" Dick found himself stuttering slightly in disbelief. "I mean, why are you here?" It was with knitted brows he gazed up at the other man who stepped away just a tad to search his trouser pocket. Not long after, he fished up a red key which he'd been given when Dick offered for him to move him months back.  
  
"I found it in my other jacket a couple days ago. Figured I'd give it back to you, now that I don't need it any longer." Jason spoke calmly with an unreadable face. Dick on the other hand? A completely different case. It was as if his eyes were on the verge of dwelling up when being handed back the spare key he'd made for Jason back then. The hesitation was clear as Dick eyed the key for a second before shakingly taking it into his own hand, thumbing the surface lightly whilst all sorts of thoughts and emotions seemed to overwhelm him. It was as if reality hadn't hit him hard enough till Jason decided to no longer hold onto the key. To no longer wish to be invited into Dick's home. No longer wanting any of what Dick had to offer.   
  
"Oh, right. Thanks." Dick muffled silently, lips pressed together so firmly it almost hurt before sliding the key into the pocket of his black trench coat, feeling himself clench around the object within his pocket. His eyes met the floor, not knowing what to say. He'd admit to the fact that the kiss had given him some sense of hope, but it wasn't anything he'd really question. It was Jason. Although they'd been romantically involved in the past, he had always envied the younger for managing to keep his feelings out of it when needed. That kiss was nothing but a rescue operation. And although it angered Dick to some extent, as Jason could've easily chosen to use words instead, he'd admit it was the fastest way to get rid of her. But despite the burning desire to see Jason again. _Taste_ him again. The kiss had been absolutely bittersweet. But maybe not all love-stories were supposed to have a happy ending?   
  
"I suggest you learn to make it clear to others what you want and don't want. I wouldn't want you to end up in a situation you'll end up regretting." The younger spoke, having Dick's insides twist and turn. Those words were like needles piercing right through him. And Jason knew. "I'm glad you're doing well, Grayson. See you on the rooftops sometime." With those words, the former Robin had turned on his heel, prepared to leave down the stairs, just as Dick's date had done; But he found himself restrained. To his very surprise, he found Dick's slender fingers to have locked themselves around Jason's wrist, probably tighter than be intended for it to be. But without hurting him.  
  
"Can I ... talk to you? Inside." Dick asked, lips slightly parted. Eyes, somewhat glossy at this point. Jason's own emeralds fell on Dick's blue ones, having always admired how he was so openly vulnerable. Even when fucking up, he was prepared to be open, be honest and talk things through. Even if it didn't always go his way. It was with hesitation within Jason's eyes he shortly glanced back at the staircase, to which Dick softly added; "Please, Jay. I'll make it quick." The taller swallowed hard, looking to the wooden door before allowing his eyes on Dick once more.  
  
"Alright."  
  
  
Dick had gotten out of his outwear once sitting down on the couch, yet Jason had kept his on, making it clear he wasn't planning on staying for long. Of course even that made Dick feel somewhat tense about the situation. And even minutes into it, both their drinks had gone untouched. He'd offered Jason a beer, although highly doubting he'd so much as open it. He barely recalled the last time they'd both sat down on the couch together. Since their argument it'd been a constant switch between who slept on the couch and who took the bed. At least till Jason had found his own place as Dick had insisted Jason wasn't gonna stay in one of his crappy safe houses. Besides, both were busy so they'd rarely be home at the same time. In all honesty, the last couple of weeks of living together, it seemed they tried to avoid it in general. A soft sigh escaped Dick, who'd pulled his legs up under himself, sitting cross-legged whilst having his fingers rest on his ankles. Currently, gazing down.   
  
"I wanted to apologize for what I've put you through. I don't expect you to accept my apology, all I wish is for you to hear me out." The older started, voice already fragile and filled with regret. He then lifted his gaze slightly, only continuing once he'd received a nod from the man next to him, who kept quiet. "Although we've been very intimate with one another in the past, on several occasions, I failed to realize how badly you wanted to wait with taking it further. You, as you already know, are my first same-sex experience. Everything I felt was so new and intense. And although I admit to being scared of certain aspects of it, I was so eager to explore more. So eager I became selfish. My desires blinded me to you discomfort. It's not that I didn't hear you. I made a choice _not to._ " The older swallowed, the shame written all across his face. Tears, burning at the corner of his eyes. "I was very selfish for exploiting you this way and I wish I had realized sooner. I just ... really didn't want my first to be anyone but you. But it really ain't no excuse for basically guilt-tripping you into having sex with me. Throwing away all we had for a temporary bliss, even when you told me you weren't ready. I - I'm sorry for violating your trust like this, Jason. I truly am and I wish I could take everything back." At this point, warm tears were already making their way down the sun-kissed skin on the older's cheeks. A sight that was somewhat familiar to Jason. But despite knowing he shouldn't let himself get too affected by Dick tearing up, he _felt it._ The guilt. The hurt. That's when Jason turned slightly in the furniture to have his body face Dick's a little more, reaching to stroke away the man's tears. Stroking them away, like he'd already done so many times, he couldn't even count it in both hands. And silence fell on the room for a while with Jason gently thumbing the man's cheek in a slow pace, till it no longer felt wet.  
  
"Tell me one thing. - Did it at least feel good?" The visitor spoke, eyeing Dick with the same expression. The question surely had Dick knit his brows slightly in confusion. But rather than immediately asking, as his lips has parted to do so, he decided to chew slightly on the question. His gaze fell on his ankles once more as if holding his own head had become too heavy at this point.  
  
"Yes and no. I was enjoying it, once getting used to it. It was no secret I wanted to take it further with you. Knowing it was you made the slight pain durable. But had I realized I was hurting you in the process, I would've never even - " And by then, he found himself cut off by the other man.  
  
"Then I'm okay with it." He answered, noticing the other man's confused expression as they suddenly locked eyes. Dick's eyes, still hesitant. But definitely searching Jason's. "In the beginning, I was hurt. I was fine with what we had, I wanted to just keep it like that. I regret not standing up for myself in that very moment, but being with you isn't something I regret. It probably makes no sense, but hear me out. So far, I've lived a life of hurting and hating. Blaming everyone around me for the pain having been inflicted on me. Heck, I even despised _you_ for not being there years back. But once returning, you offered me a warmth and kindness I thought I was undeserving of. No, it doesn't change the fact that I wasn't ready and I would're rather waited. But knowing you felt good made it ... _okay._ Not something I'm bitter about. Not something I'm happy about either. Just, okay." He then paused, exhaling softly before chewing slightly on the words he was about to speak. Even when fighting, something about Dick made Jason soften up just enough to let down his guard. It was something he was still adapting to. Honesty, but to a raw level. He then continued;  
  
"It made me feel I wasn't only hurting people around me. Hurting _you._ For so long I thought that was all I was ever capable of. And I came to accept I did nothing but destroy. So, I needed to know. For my own sanity as well. It's not that I didn't wanna have sex with you because I find you unattractive or didn't like you. I ... was just scared of hurting you. Or myself. Nothing good that ever came to me stayed long. I'm sure you can understand that? So, I don't want you to think it was the sex I was upset about, Dick." He finished, clearly having Dick breathless at this point, as he just sat there. Staring. Eyes, still full of tears.  
  
"I'm okay with it, Dick." He repeated, suddenly feeling another warm tear make it down the man's cheek and over his finger, which was resting on the man's cheek. And not long after, what had gone from being a few tears went into a full on sobbing session, having Dick almost curl together. By then, Jason moved closer, gently tugging Dick into himself, allowing the older to bury his face in the crook of Jason's neck. "I would like to at least try and put it behind us. Maybe even give us a second try if _I_ get to set the pace." To which he received a half muffled yes from the teary-eyed one, speaking into the skin of Jason's warm neck.   
  
"I'm _so sorry._ Jason." The teary one sobbed into the other man's neck, having Jason crack a faint half-smile, running his palm up and down Dick's backside, feeling him lean in closer. Meanwhile Dick had grabbed a handful each of Jason's jacket, clenching at the fabric. It's not like the acrobat wasn't aware of how undeserving he was of a second chance. Maybe that's _exactly_ why it hurt so much? So far Jason had been the one blaming himself for being the one who wasn't sure how to work out the entire relationship thing, or whatever they even had had going on in the first place. Dick was aware that labels scared the other man, hence he wasn't gonna force it. And yet here sat Dick Grayson himself, constantly made up to be the perfect son, brother and partner. Messing up as much as he could've possibly done. "You _really_ don't have to offer me this, Jason." He spoke almost quietly as if he wished for the other man to not hearing it in the first place, scared he'd take back the offer. The thing is, Dick absolutely knew how selfish it was of him to take it. To not allow both of them longer to consider this. Because no matter what had happened, the two of them seemed to be like the two opposite poles of a magnet; constantly drawn together without even questioning it at this point.   
  
Sure, Jason did consider what he was offering Dick. And sure the wisest would be to just start out as friends again. But it had been before everything happened, that Jason had made his mind up about Dick. It was _him._ Despite how many dumb decisions the guy had made, there was no other he would allow himself to open up to like this. Heck, he'd already fallen head-first into this. And to be honest, it scared him. But it wasn't the same sense of fear he knew from when captured by the joker. It wasn't anything like what he knew fear to be. But maybe that was really was relationships was about too? You reassure one another through all the trial and error.   
  
"I wouldn't offer it if I didn't think you were worth it, Dick. I'll be okay eventually. We'll just take it slow." He continued, absolutely aware the situation had really been a complete backlash for Dick as well. Probably something they'd both like to ultimately forget about. It had obviously given the older the scare of his life. Crazy how a grown, muscular man of Dick's size could suddenly turn so small, shaking like a terrified hamster. It wasn't a sight Jason was fond of. To him, Dick had mostly been a role-model, despite having always teased him for being a daddy's boy and a goody-two-shoes. But no matter what was thrown at Dick, the older had always managed to keep walking, no matter the amount of emotional luggage he carried. Maybe people just trusted him to do so, hence Dick wasn't gonna question it. Jason had never dared ask, but had the feeling Dick felt everyone expected him to carry on. To always keep a bright smile on his face through all the hardships. To always be the one with the healing ability although clearly torn to pieces himself. Sure it wasn't an excuse for anything. The harm was still done. But maybe, for once, instead of patching himself up in silence - They could heal _together_?   
  
After a while of just stroking the other man's backside, the urge to break the silence had grown too strong; "Dickie, I'm willing to work on this with you. - Just do me a favor and stop crying, then I'll take your apology. You always freak me out when going all crybaby on me." To which he eventually earned himself a soft laugh from the older who pulled away just slightly, attempting to wipe away the tears whilst a grin had spread across his lips. And the relief he felt was obvious. Heck, Dick's eyes were shining once more. And not only because of the glossy look the tears had given them. The bird then grabbed the nearest blanket from the backrest of the couch, tapping it lightly against his damped cheeks before eventually throwing it around himself. That being followed by Dick promising he'd stop crying. And a smile remained on both their lips. "In that case, you're forgiven. No harm done. All is in the past." Jason said as he offered a bigger smile before taking Dick's hand in his own, giving it a reassuring squeeze. He knew physical touch meant a lot when reassuring Dick that you were there with him. Being present and showing you'll go out of your way to understand him. And it was enough to have the corners of Dick's mouth spread even further as those pearly whites were exposed in a big, honest grin. Something that even made Jason soft to the core.   
  
"So, - " Dick spoke, this time having apparently found enough self-confidence to be his cocky self; "Are you sure you don't wanna reconsider giving back the key?" Dick grinned, once more using the backside of his free hand to wipe away a single tear. And it was enough to have a laugh escape Jason as he slowly freed himself from Dick's grip to get up. He then walked to the door, only to lock it behind them. Next thing, he removed his jacket, placing it on the hanger right next to Dick's coat before diving back into the couch, this time gently positioning himself to lie on top of the smaller male who found himself guided into the pillows of the couch as he felt the other man's weight on top of him. Dick then reached to tug at a second blanket, burying both of them in it, making them one.   
  
"You can keep it, for now. Besides, you know me. You're more naive than I thought if you truly believe I need a key to get into your apartment in the first place, Dickie-bird." The man on top grinned as he pressed his own lips to Dick's inviting ones one more time. Softly, as to seal the promise of a better tomorrow.


End file.
